What was I thinking about?

2023 starts and I start bringing up my resolutions for the year. Well, who cares about resolutions, it’s not as if I’m going to follow them past 3 days. I promise, I will study hard from now on; this is my resolution for the year. I know it’s quite a simple one, but it was quite a big thing for me.

I remember when I was in the 7th grade, I studied, and I was even among the top students in my class. Now I am an absolute no one (I barely passed last year). I blamed that on the examiners, but only me myself knows the truth behind that failure (I didn’t study at all). I just played pretend to my parents, and disappointed them at the result disclosure.

I have been going to Allen (educational institute/coaching) since my eighth standard, except ninth of course (it was online), and tenth (last year) went along quite disastrous. I scored the lowest ever percentage in my exams and wasted an entire year of my life. My parents shifted me over to a dummy school so I could prepare for the JEE examination and hopefully get in an IIT college. I had just accepted it that I won’t even make it there. I had accepted to grab a basic degree and live like a commoner.

This was the case until my friend came along, sometimes energetic, sometimes rude. He motivated me to have big ambitions, to have a dream. This dream was something I forgot about long ago. He even bullied me for being a moron at times. I cursed my teacher for the way I had become. The way I had wasted the last year. I kept on lamenting the past, and not gazing upon the future. He made me look for what I had done wrong in the past year. Upon brainstorming a lot I realised, I left dreaming, I never had a goal the past year.

This is when I made up my mind to set a goal; I wasted another 3 days thinking of that goal I could pursue. I had many thoughts pass through my mind in the past three days. One, about the peculiar teacher at Allen I hated the most not because of his personality, but because of the subject he taught. Physics was my enemy and I had decided to come back to that teacher and brag when I make it through JEE even without his help. I shared this with my friend and he told me to reconsider, I wonder why. However, today marks the commencement of my journey towards my goal, the day I go back to being a person worthy of respect.

This is life from the lens of a teenager